Monday, 21 December 2015

Tesco Pork, Turkey & Stuffing Christmas Trees

Mr.1T is cursing my rediscovered loved of stuffing, he used to be able to have his fill but we'll happily fight over the last bits now (and what we call little storm cloud roast potatoes - crispy and almost burnt on the outside but beautifully fluffy on the inside). We found these pork, turkey and stuffing Christmas trees while we were trying to choose a savoury snack that we wouldn't have to cook. 

I thought the fact there were only 7 was going to be a bit of a rip off, but they're big old boys - they come in the same packaging as the mini sausage rolls but they're about three times the size. 

I had to eat my words about them being a rip off at this point - they're nice and deep too. When we saw there were 7 I begrudgingly agreed I'd have 3 and Mr.1T could have 4 but as this was only a snack I began to think 3 might have been too much! The trees can be eaten hot or cold and I decided I'd try one hot, one cold and whichever was nicest is how I'd have the third - for the sake of reviewing, of course! To warm them up, you pop them in the microwave and for an 800w (which mine is), zap them for 1 minute 40 seconds. 
While I was waiting for the first, I decided to snap a quick cross section photo. 

What. The. Hell. I knew it was too good to be true! And I knew I was right - it's all a big deception/smoke and mirrors/a big fat Christmas tree shaped lie - total rip off. 
On to the tasting, my microwave only lets me set the time in intervals of 10 seconds or 30 seconds, no combination of the two and the 10 seconds only go up to 90, so I'd set it for a minute and a half - 10 seconds less than recommended - figuring I could pop it back in if need be. 
I needn't have worried about being 'undercooked', it was about 30 seconds over being just right! The bottom of the pastry casing was rock hard and had an almost burnt flavour, which can't be right - microwaves just suck the moisture out rather than burn burn it. The pastry tasted so bad I couldn't taste anything else and not wanting to ruin anymore, left that one as my one warm Christmas tree. 

They smell delicious cold, like a mix between sausage rolls and stuffing and that was what I hoped it would taste like too. They didn't. First off, all I could notice was that whereas in the warm tree the pastry is rock hard, when cold it's almost soggy. Mary Berry would not be happy, soggy bottoms all round! Still I like crispy stuffing and I like soft stuffing so I persevered. To compliment the soggy bottoms, the fillings are nice and wet too.. Seriously it was one extreme to another - burnt and hard to a moist mess. Whatever, it's all about the flavour anyway. 
That too was a disappointment. The vast majority tasted just like the filling of a sausage roll - pork with a bit of who knows what mixed in. Apparently there's as much turkey as there is pork (8%) but neither me or Mr.1T tasted turkey at all. I did get a stuffing flavour every now and then, a bit of sage and onion thrown in the mix, but it was very slight and not very often. 
The pork, turkey & stuffing Christmas trees are no more than glorified sausage rolls sadly - they could have been so good! 

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